A Brief Primer on Getting Your Foot in the Door
(The following opinions are not necessarily those of any magazine editorial staff with which I am associated.)
Tips from a slush reader to the writer:
1. Standard manuscript format can be boiled down to two simple rules:
- Double-space the body of the story.
- Font is 12-pt. Courier or, if you absolutely must, Times New Roman.
2. First impressions count for a lot. See note number 1, above.
3. If you want to write a courtroom scene and you're not a lawyer, don't.
4. If you want to write a story in which the protagonist is a writer, and you're not Stephen King, don't. (And that proviso only because Stephen King is rich enough to get away with anything.)
5. Master the rules of English grammar and demonstrate that mastery in some way before pissing on them and setting them afire.
And this next is certainly not shared by all editors, but is one I feel strongly about:
6. I don't care what magazine you edit, what workshops or MFA programs you attended, or what organizations or cliques you belong to, because I'm not judging you. I'm judging whether this one particular story you've submitted fits our needs. If it doesn't, I don't give a toss about your impressive resumé or your influential friends. I believe in meritocracy. If the Good Ole Boy system was a human being, I'd be doing time at Pewee Valley for its murder right now.
7. I cannot be bribed, but liberal doses of chocolate do tend to mellow me out.
posted by Kim Colley @ 9:35 AM
6 Comments:
If you want to write a courtroom scene and you're not a lawyer, don't Oh gods, aint' that the truth. Should be said for doctors, nurses, vets - heck most any profession.
Master the rules of English grammar and demonstrate that mastery in some way before pissing on them and setting them afire. Thank you. The cat just had to perform CPR because I got choked on my drink.
Well, the lawyer thing ... I was sitting in my falling-down dining room today, knitting, with iBuds in my ears as I listened to a novel. So I'm sitting there alone, surrounded on three sides by windows looking out on my neighbors, and screaming, "Sidebar! Sidebar! You never have that discussion in front of a jury!"
Just because you've watched every single episode of Law & Order evah doesn't mean you know how to write a courtroom scene. For crying out loud, ask a lawyer to read those scenes before sending your ms to the printers! Pay the lawyer if you have to. Because it might just be a lawyer who ends up reviewing your novel.
>>7. I cannot be bribed, but liberal doses of chocolate do tend to mellow me out.
The proprieties at all times. If you're going to be bribed, demand Godiva chocolate. You have standards!
Maria
www.mariazannini.com
Godiva is lesser chocolate, but I will accept it if one cannot afford Ghirardelli or EthelM, or especially the organic dark chocolate bars sold at Wild Oats.
You mean you don't care that I was a member of the Appalachian Poets Society for Hillbilly Arts?
I'm sorry, Jason, but no. Now, if you were a member of the Hillbilly Poets Society for Appalachian Arts, that would be a different matter
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